Looking at those around you we often only see the things people let us see. Commonly, this looks like smiles, new cars, promotions, baby announcements, and so much more. Rarely do we get to see the difficult, raw and vulnerable aspects that are all so common in daily life. Of course, we’re hyper aware of our own difficulties and flaws but we’re just as good as everyone else at not putting them on display. These tendencies are some of the exact ways in which imposter syndrome get reinforced and creates a vicious cycle.
What Does an Imposter Syndrome Cycle Look Like?
- Giving attention on what we perceive are our flaws
- Comparing self with others
- Giving attention on what we perceive others do well
- Increasing our perceived flaws
- Imposter syndrome
- Repeat.
There is a significant lack of self-compassion about our own strengths, knowledge and efforts. We have a tendency to assume that our own knowledge is completely different or lacking from the knowledge of others creating those feelings of inadequacy. However, realistically there is much more overlap in knowledge than we give ourselves credit for. The more scrutiny and attention we give to what we feel we aren’t doing well and what we think others are, it becomes so much more difficult for us to have compassion, confidence and resilience in ourselves.
Example of an Imposter Syndrome Cycle
You’re being asked to provide a progress presentation at work about your research on mental health within healthcare professionals in Ottawa. => Pulling an all-nighter doing extra research and putting together a presentation. => Boss gives you good feedback on your progress and thanks you for the presentation. However, you hyperfocus on the one word you mispronounced. => Overthinking and fearing being exposed due to the mispronunciation. => More anxiety and self-doubt next time you are asked to provide a presentation.
I wish I could tell you imposter syndrome will eventually completely go away, but that’s not very realistic. I also think that’s okay and has potential to be a positive thing. Moments here and there of self-reflection in our abilities can help to keep us honest in owning our mistakes or help us ensure we’re practicing within our scope of practice, which is understandable and needed within certain fields like being a regulated health care professional. On the other hand, constant self-doubt and feelings of inadequacy can significantly interfere with day-to-day functioning and could be a sign of a greater mental health concern such as anxiety. The good news is that there are strategies you can use to help.
Coping
- Normalize: Not talking about these things openly is what perpetuates the cycle and keeps us feeling isolated. You might be surprised at how many colleagues also feel this way if you simply just ask.
- Mindfulness: Acknowledging and paying attention on how you talk with yourself is the first step towards changing the dialogue.
- Self-Talk: When you notice you’re being self-critical try and challenge this with a new or more positive perspective.
- Reframe Failure: Failure is a natural and common part of finding success, it provides us with learning opportunities.
- Avoid Comparisons: Unless every moment of your life was lived exactly the same as someone else, the comparison is unfair.
- Review Your Success: Look back and remind yourself of all of the progress and wins you’ve had thus far, no matter how small.
- Accept Compliments: Instead of brushing off compliments, try to really hear and take in when others provide you compliments, say thank you.
- Self-Compassion: When noticing or making a mistake, stay kind with yourself. You can find more exercises for self-compassion here.
- Seek Help: talking with a professional can be a healthy way to discuss your worries and concerns in a confidential space.
