Emotions are a natural and essential part of being human.
They exist to guide us, inform our decisions, and help us respond to the world around us. Typically, emotions are not chosen and are involuntary. In other words, you cannot “make” yourself feel a specific emotion. Our emotions are like an internal weather system: things come and go, flowing from one to another, ever-changing and unpredictable, sometimes stormy, sometimes calm, and sometimes sunny. Similarly to the weather, our emotions are influenced by various stimuli, either internal or external. They spontaneously appear as reactions to things happening either inside or outside of ourselves. Because emotions play such a crucial role in our lives, it’s important we learn to understand and navigate them. This involves three key steps, which are the basics of what we call emotional awareness:
- Recognize and accurately name your emotions.
- Understand the purpose or message behind them.
- Learn how to respond to them in a thoughtful, effective way.
By developing emotional awareness and regulation, we equip ourselves to navigate life more consciously and with greater resilience.
Basic Emotions
Here are the primary emotions found around the world in both humans and animals. They range from mild to intense.
- Interest/Excitement
- Enjoyment/Joy
- Surprise/Startle
- Distress/Anguish
- Anger/Rage
- Fear/Terror
- Shame/Humiliation
- Disgust
Based on language and culture you may also find lists of emotions that range from broad to very specific. When you practice naming your emotions, determine what you find is most helpful for you. Whether that is sticking to the basics listed above or perhaps finding a more detailed list to help narrow down exactly what you may be feeling (try googling an emotion wheel for help!).
Often, emotions are thought of as either good or bad but there are no good or bad emotions, they are all a natural part of what makes us human and help us function. However, there are emotions that are more pleasant and others that you may find more painful or uncomfortable to experience. Thus, we encourage you not to judge your emotions as good or bad but rather focus on their purpose or meaning. This compassionate approach helps with acceptance of emotions as being a natural part of your life, as diminishing judgement can actually help diminish the discomfort we feel towards our more challenging emotions.
Function of Emotions
One of the primary functions of our emotions is to help us meet our needs. They serve as internal signals that motivate us and drive behavior toward specific goals. For example, fear directs us to run away or avoid something that is threatening, while love directs us closer to our loved ones because it is imperative to have safe relationships in our life.
Involuntary Emotions
Involuntary emotions are the reactions you have, to what is happening around you. For example, you feel anger because someone cut you off in traffic or you feel joy because your boss complimented you on a job well done.
Self-Conscious Emotions
Self-conscious emotions are feelings we have about our own emotional experiences. For example, feeling guilty because you’re upset with someone, or feeling ashamed because you feel or expressed sadness. This can be problematic because it enforces internal judgement, reinforcing negative beliefs about your own natural emotional experiences.
Our emotions are not only tied to our sensations, thoughts, and behaviours, but also our perceptions of the present and predictions of what will happen. For example, if your boss is frowning, you might think they must be angry with me… anger is dangerous; I should leave. For some, these loops and patterns become so ingrained that having a simple sensation related to a feeling can prompt an unnecessary behaviour. Like, experiencing a pit in your stomach might lead to a belief that danger is imminent, prompting fearful behavior—even when no real threat exists. Thus, when our ability to regulate or tolerate our emotions is disrupted, everyday experiences can start to feel overwhelming and difficult to navigate.
Avoidance of Emotion
Many of us often become skilled at avoiding emotions. Although there are certainly times when it is important to focus on the task at hand and deal with our emotions later, it becomes problematic when done chronically or when we don’t come back to the emotions at all. Avoiding overwhelming emotions or intense feelings may help you in the short-term but long-term it also deprives you of meaningful emotions with yourself, others and experiences in life that make life beautiful and worth living. Avoiding emotions also restricts your ability to resolve pain or traumatic experiences. Thus, being able to bring awareness and process your emotions is of great importance to move through life with resilience.
See our next blog on Window of Tolerance to learn more about regulating your emotions.
